sebentar sebentar

sebentar
kulihat engkau masih bercelana pendek dan bersandal jepit tapak botak
berlarian dengan genggaman tutup botol limun
harta karun masa kecil modal permainan

sebentar
engkau bercelana jeans kaos oblong
tas sandang seusia kemarin dan pikiran jauh kedepan

sebentar
engkau jatuh cinta dan membangun sebuah keluarga
dengan segelayut impian di awang udara
penuh harap agar satu demi satu terjawab bahagia

sebentar
engkau menyentuh tanah dengan sejuta keasingan
dalam pikiran dan jebakan kehidupan
engkau tahu bahwa hidup semakin tegas
dan langkah lunglai bukanlah jawab

sebentar
engkau bervisi ke muka
kelak akan dimana dan akah sejauh mana


sebentar...waktu yang singkat

Japanese centenarians.

I was shock at the first place when I read the BBC reports about more than 40,000 centenarians registered in Japan. That was a very long age to live. it may be reliable considering the heathy life applied by japanese people. They eat the exact portion of food with a well-balanced nutrients. thus, it's very common to see the old people are still active on working, such as in farmland and do many activities by them self.

But recently, it is reported that those actual numbers aren't real. Some of them probably no longer alive, but the family kept it silence and being dishonest to the government. why? some reports covered the cost of funeral in japan is not so cheap! therefore, the family member choose the extreme ways in avoiding that cost, which are keeping the dead bodies in their house. in worse case, keeping it in the backpack.

So, what actually happens? are japanese this poor? of course not. In fact, japan still one of the richest country in the world.

Well, some might put their fingers on government because the cost of life, and even dead is not that cheap. simply, there is no other way to have a cheaper way of life unless to becomes a hobo.

others might be blamed the family members. How could they left the dead body inside their house or just simply kept it in a backpack. it's unacceptable.

but the reasons found on BBC are quite disenchanted, it is again about the money!
the family members are taking advantages on this situation by keep gaining pension funds. One family was arrested for fraudulent because they gained benefit for 9 million yen from their dead father.

My point is, this condition might not be happened when government are well tracking of their people, and the citizens are being more transparent about their family members.

amati...
pelajari...
lakukan...

papirus

Have you ever felt to be so wrong on what you do but you can't afford to stop it? you know that's wrong but you just keep it going on..
how hard you tried to changes, it moves backward and beat you.
even harder than before...
how does your mind think can be totally different with your body act?
what the hell is that?

someone please tell me.


*
I guess there must be something wrong...
so goddamn wrong inside of me!

papirus

ooow..wind blows upon my head..get through my eyes and I slipped but no wonder it leave a scratch of smile and my cheek just getting wider and blushed. I know..the winds are talking about me, about my insanity of being life. the imperfection of God creature, it is me!

I keep smile, and suddenly dusts get into my smiley mouth...I don't care. who care about my mouth and what I've done. I'm a sinner like everybody does. some people just heart bleeding, ashamed, or feel honored, just simply because of every words on it. sorry though, I don't mean to..but sometimes people makes me so exhausted to offends.

who am I to judge people, right??
"don't judge me"..said somebody. but frankly I can't stop my self to tell how moronic those people.

the swinger's keep swinging while I suppress the white sands below me. screwed..I said, my shoes just getting dirty.

and again...ignored it. tomorrow will change you destiny. this shoes maybe dirty, but ya...
I love it so I promise to wear it tomorrow, day afterwards and for along.
I love my life..I said.
no matter how hard it would be, or how strong it pushed me..
long road to be passed on..don't be afraid!!

Mam

Ada saatnya aku menyadari bahwa bicara dan menulis dalam pesan singkat tak pernah cukup.

melainkan bertemu, bertatap muka, melihat senyummu dalam visualisasi dan gerak nyata, adalah bagian yang tak akan bisa ditemukan dimanapun, pada siapapun.

karena kenyamanan ketika bersamamu adalah kenyamanan yang tak tergantikan.

the known unknown story of Jorge.

the music played when I just woke up from my daymare. Sat on the small diner with a glass of coffee...
what happened? didn't know which part of ottawa is. I looked around flustered. It's not even ottawa. like someplace that I used to know, hardly tried to dig my brain to narrowed down where was it. How this place just suddenly had appeared on my past! and I searched in every inch of my brain. my eyes looked up the roof. that's the way I started to think.
in a flash I remembered a minute or...a sometime before where I was in the music studio stand up hands high in front of microphone. I recorded my songs! shit!

then..
how could I ended up here.
am I dead already?

not yet, pretty sure about that because I was holding my apartment key, it's real! at least someone just starred and put his finger on me.

February

I looked at the shed of the window. Sun comes earlier while snows are getting melt down dropwise this afternoon. I said "what a beautiful day, and walked would make me see what I'd been missing"...

I felt I'm smelling the change of the seasons. But something just nagged me and my head. "was this dreaming on a daylight? Am I onto my body?"

the voices told me that it is February...
and I said "no!! not a single words"
What a grumpy voice...a party pooper!

I felt..now I'm happy..
"keep it for the future..." the voice prattled in various tones
Don't put a damper on my mood..." I did screamed.

"No..but it's february...february.." that voice played..

my eyes was rotating, it was try hard to harvest joyful moments that I just felt. "where is it?"

"it's just lost on another hand, somewhere.."

the window opened and I saw a light.


it's late afternoon on february second.